Everyone should be so lucky to have opposable thumbs. I bet dogs get rather jealous of our hand's status and that's why they poop on our neatly trimmed (by illegal immigrants, we say send 'em back, but by lord we need them) yards and bite our friends when they come over for dinner. In fact let us broaden out: so much of the world's issues are because people don't have or don't understand the same beliefs, privileges and logic that others do, which is why they retaliate by using violence and the occasional bodily excretions. In short: When we can't relate to others we just shit all over them.

Lets change that, shall we?